Forgiveness?
by mabelreid
Summary: A short sequel to Obsessions JJ and Spencer try to repair their relationship after Karen but keep missing each other Spoilers for both seasons
1. Chapter 1

_Authors Note: I don't know if JJ has parents they haven't been mentioned but for this story she does_

_I don't own anything but my own characters_

The fall sunshine reminded her of football games and bonfires. It was the day before Halloween, and she'd been home for ten days. The leaves on trees outside her childhood home were changing colors. This was her favorite time of year, when the colors changed to gold, orange, fiery red and a thousand shades in between. Soon the trees would finish shedding their leaves. They would resemble skeletons against the grey skies of November. She hoped to be back at work before she saw this side of autumn in Pennsylvania

"Jenny," her mother called. "If you're going outside, take your gloves, the wind is bitter today."

"Okay mom!" What was is about moms that made you feel like a two year old even when you were twenty-seven?

_At least you have a mother to nag you, his mother's in an institution. _

"Shut up," she told herself angrily.

She pulled on her slate grey wool coat, and wrapped a red knitted scarf around her throat. It was good to wear jeans and a sweater for a change.

_I wonder which sweater vest he's wearing today_?

Clamping down on that thought before it could take her places she didn't want to go, she pulled on her black leather gloves and left the house.

Her mother was right; the wind was brutal, cutting across her face like a razor. She didn't bleed, at least not on the outside. In reality she'd been bleeding since the night Lisa tried to kill Spencer. Her heart bled for him, and the scathing betrayal he experienced again at the hands of a beautiful woman. It was bad enough that she'd run from her feelings a year ago, but to have her past rear it's ugly head like that - well she supposed karma bit you in the ass from time to time.

She got in her rental car and drove through town. She saw a few familiar faces, but she didn't stop to speak to any of her old friends. She wasn't here to socialize or renew old friendships. She was running away.

She kept her mind blank until she reached the place where Lisa had been raped and left for dead. She went to the large oak tree where the guys had tied Lisa, and sat down on the ground, trying to imagine what the girl had gone through there.

If only she'd stayed sober, and stayed at the campsite, maybe she could've stopped what happened. It was so terrible, the aftermath. The police had arrested her friends, but they'd been careful, they'd used condoms so no DNA evidence was found. Eventually the police had let them go for lack of evidence, and because they and their girlfriends backed up each other's alibis.

It was at that time Lisa had snapped. In one night she'd killed all the boys, sneaking into their bedrooms through unlocked windows, and cutting their throats while they slept. She then castrated them all. She'd gone home and done the same thing to her father. By that time, the first boy had been found by an insomniac parent. The police correctly guessed who was behind it, and they found her at her home catatonic, and covered in the blood of all four men.

JJ believed she would be in an institution for the rest of her life, but the powers that be had released her. She was twenty-one, and the doctors said she was cured of her psychotic behavior. Ha, what a laugh, they knew nothing and because of their misguided compassion, Spencer was nearly killed.

She couldn't banish him from her mind any longer, after weeks of trying to keep him out; he was there, frowning at her in her minds eye.

He'd driven her away with his unhappiness. For weeks after she'd tried one last time to apologize and start over, she'd dreamt of him. In some of her dreams she would see him dying at Lisa's hands. In others she'd manage to get him to talk to her, but then they would end up fighting and he would leave her crying. There were several times that she dreamt they talked, and then they fought like sworn enemies and at last they made frantic love.

Finally she couldn't take it anymore. She dreaded going to work. She was distracted and one morning she and Emily had a screaming fight over the last cup of coffee in the machine. Hotch had been there and he'd ordered her to his office.

"_JJ, I don't know what's going on with you, but -" He'd started out in his usual glowering way. _

_She interrupted him by bursting into frustrated tears. The whole story poured out of her, from high school and Lisa, to the Red skins game and its aftermath, to that very moment of absolute misery._

_He listened without comment, moving only once to make sure his door was shut. _

_When she had finished her explanation of her behavior, she looked up in the silence that followed to see Hotch staring at her, his face expressionless as usual. Then he said, "JJ I want you out of here. Take a leave of absence for as long as you need."_

"_But Hotch… I don't need to run away, what kind of message does that send to him if I do."_

"_It's too late to worry about that now, don't you think." _

"_Don't lecture me Hotch; I'm not a child and neither is he."_

"_You're wrong about that JJ and you know it. In a lot of ways Reid is still a child, or at least a very young adult. There are a lot of things that he's never experienced."_

"_I know that Hotch, I feel bad enough as it is. I'm trying to make it up to him but he won't let me and now you tell me to leave."_

"_You need some time apart, so go visit your family or go to California and get some sun, I don't care. I don't want to see you back here until you've resolved your issues." _

"_But Hotch -" _

"_That's an order Agent Jareau, and before you threaten to go over my head, the director agrees with me."_

"_Fine… I'll go home to Pennsylvania, don't call me!" She slammed out the door. _

So here she was, in the Pennsylvania woods, trying to calm her pounding heart and the sweating of her palms. She knew her fear was, for the most part, irrational, but she couldn't help it. Lisa's ordeal had only made the fear worse.

Her fists clenched in rage because being here and confronting her fears had done nothing to draw her thoughts away from Spencer. Instead, she wished he were here, holding her and making her feel safe. If she hadn't been so afraid of that feeling of safety he provided her, he might be with her instead of hundreds of miles away.

_She remembered waking up next to him that morning and panicking at the thought of how right it felt to be in his arms. It wasn't just the afterglow of amazing sex that she felt; it was knowing that a kind, thoughtful and sweet man loved her. She'd never experienced physical intimacy with someone that really loved her, and it scared the hell out of her. Her other lovers had been easy to discard when they wanted more than just dates and occasional sex. She never loved any of them. She'd been amazed to discover that she loved him with her whole heart and soul. Then she began to realize that love meant commitment and family, and she didn't want that._

Now looking back on that year, she wondered why she'd been so afraid. She should have embraced Spencer and all that he represented. She could've been so happy, and instead she'd thrown it all away for the sake of her precious freedom.

Her thoughts returned to the present, and she found herself crying, the tears splashing down on the ground turning it dark and black in the shade of the tree. The sun was directly overhead, and she heard for the first time the sounds of the woods around her. A twig snapped to her right, and she screamed before she realized that it was a chipmunk scampering across the forest floor, looking for seeds and nuts.

A bird called overhead and she froze again. It sounded like someone crying. _Stop it Jennifer, stop trying to scare yourself and deal with the issues at hand._

There was only one issue. How was she going to convince Spencer that she loved him? She had to find a way because he was the only one she wanted. She knew in her soul she would never love anyone else in her entire life. If she couldn't find a way to convince him, then she would spend the rest of her days alone.

She stood up, feeling the cold on her cheeks once again, and walked back to her car. It was timefor her to go back to Virginia. She needed to confront him and have it out once and for all.

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"Jen are you going to tell me what's going on with you, or do I have to keep asking?"

JJ watched her mother enter the living room, and sit down on the arm chair across from the chocolate brown leather couch.

"Honey please, you have to confide in someone, you've been moping around her for days. I was ready to let you mope forever, but you're going to make yourself sick."

JJ stared at Susan Jareau for a long time. She remembered a time when she could tell her mother anything, without fear of judgment. When had that comfortable relationship ended? Was it time to throw out her insecurities, and fears and tell her mother everything ?

"Jenny, what's happened? Is it that Dr Reid you talk about all the time?"

JJ started in surprise. How did her mother know? She hadn't said anything. Her heart began to pound painfully in her chest. There was no going back now.

"Honey you didn't think I wouldn't notice how you stopped talking about him. What has he done to make you so sad? Tell me and I'll -"

"What mom, you'll do what…"

The words burst from her lips before she could stop them. Then the tears began to fall, and she told her mother everything, from start to finish leaving nothing out. By the time she finished she was crying so hard so could hardly speak and she covered her face with her hands. The pain in her heart was too much to bear. An arm slipped around her shoulder, she hadn't felt her mother sit down next to her. She turned her head into her mom's shoulder and wept like a small child for a long time.

"There… there my sweet Jenny… don't cry so." The feel of her mother's hand stroking her hair was soothing, and soon her sobs quieted and she felt her face burning with shame. She hadn't meant to be quite so open with her mother about every detail.

"Honey, don't be embarrassed," her mother said trying not to smile.

"I - well it's just that I never thought I'd confess to a night of drunken stupidity with a co worker."

"Jenny you're not the only one who's made mistakes. We all do things we regret."

"Not you mom, you never mess up, you're perfect."

"Is that what you think," her mother said, and Jen could hear the note of astonishment in her voice.

"Well yeah, you and Daddy have been together for so long that -"

"Sweetie, I know what it's like to lose control of yourself and regret it the next morning. I was a lot like you when I was your age, driven and ambitious. Then I met you father, and nothing else mattered but making him happy. You need to ask yourself two questions. Do you love him more than anyone, or anything else in your life? If you do, are you willing to do anything to make him happy?"

"I love him more than my own life, but he won't believe me when I tell him that."

"Jenny, listen to me, actions speak louder than words. You pushed him away from you and that was a mistake, he feels betrayed. If you want him to give you another chance, you've got to show him by your actions that you love him. You've got to be prepared to understand that he may not feel as you do and you may have to walk away, can you do that?"

"If you love someone, set them free, if they come back to you it was meant to be."

"Those are true words my dear, but can you do it.

"Yes, mom I can."

"Then I think you have a fighting chance."

JJ threw her arms around her mother and kissed her cheek. "Mom I'm going back to Quantico, I have to see him and talk to him."

"I think that's the best decision you've made in the last ten days."

Relief coursed through her like life blood, she had a plan and a reason to go on, but would he listen to her?

"Mom, what if he won't talk to me?"

"You won't know till you try, now show me the confident daughter I'm used to seeing."

JJ smiled widely and her mother laughed. "There she is, my beautiful strong daughter is back in my house. Which is a relief because now I won't have to go thrash that young man of yours."

"Mom!"

"I should go back to Virginia with you and take him over my knee for taking advantage of my drunken daughter."

"Mom! He didn't take advantage of me, he sort of just took me over…"

_Jesus did I just say that to my mother? _

"Honey, why are you so embarrassed, I know what it's like to feel overwhelmed by a man. Your father is great at making me feel that way."

"Mother, for God's sake, I don't want to hear you talk about Daddy like that!"

She watched in amazement as her mother laughed loudly. "Come on baby girl, let's get you packed.


	2. Chapter 2

_Authors Note: Thanks to everyone that is reading and reviewing this story. Here's the next chapter. _

Their latest case had been brutal. Gideon was right when he said figuring out new ways to hurt each other was what we do best. Reid wasn't naïve about his work. He knew they were capable of failure just like anyone else. It didn't remove the sting though.

The plane banked for its last turn before beginning it's descent into the airport. Everyone was asleep except for him. He never slept more than three or four hours a night anymore. She was the reason for his insomnia and this last case would only make it worse. They caught the un-sub, but not before he'd raped, beaten and killed the ten year old boy he'd taken, another face to add to his already overpopulated dreams.

The worst thing was that she was gone. He hadn't seen her in nine days, twelve hours, and forty-two minutes. The first day had been a relief. He'd been glad when Hotch told him she'd taken a leave of absence for personal reasons. He thought that it would finally give him time to process what had happened with Karen.

He would always wonder what would have happened if the others hadn't arrived when they did. Would she have killed him, or would she have forced his hand. He could've gone for the gun and risked getting hurt or killed in the struggle, or he could've distracted her by seducing her. What a track record. Sleeping with her would've made him three for three on the "Spencer screws it up with a pretty girl" scoreboard.

He shook himself out of these thoughts when his teammates began to stir. It was time to put on a happy face for them, so they wouldn't suspect how very hurt he was. He picked up his messenger bag and set it on his lap. He watched Morgan take off his head phones, while the new girl Emily Prentiss put away her book.

His ears began to pop with the change in pressure as the plane rapidly descended to the airstrip. If he had to pick something he hated about flight, descents were it. If you had a cold it was torture. That morning it was the longest descent of his life because he didn't want to be there. He didn't want to see the pity in Morgan's eyes, or the fatherly concern in Gideon's. Hotch had something different in his eyes too, a certain knowing look that puzzled Reid. Emily was the only one he could look in the eye, because she was new and didn't know what had happened to him three weeks before.

Finally they were there. He ignored everyone's chatter and got the hell off the plane as soon as he could. Morgan called after him, but his voice was lost in the buffeting and freezing wind he ran into. Winter was going to be a bitch this year.

He ran to his car, and drove away into the sunlit but cold late morning. He wanted the escape of sleep. He prayed he could close his eyes and not dream of psychos, or dead children, or her. He drove on auto pilot, not seeing the colors of the changing leaves.

He felt cheered when he pulled into his driveway. He ran to his door like he was being pursued by all the un-subs they'd ever chased. His hands were shaking so badly he could hardly insert the key in the lock. He entered and slammed the door behind him dropping his bags on the floor. He leaned back against the door, trying to stop the frantic beating of his heart. He pushed back his sweaty hair from his forehead with one hand.

The feel of the cool wood of the door sent his mind back to that day a year ago when she'd asked him into her house. He'd been happily drunk and laughed at everything she said. He'd followed her into the house, and she'd been on him faster than he could react. The scent of her perfume had assaulted his nostrils. She'd kissed him like he'd never been kissed before, and feelings he'd buried in his heart had erupted and blown by all his good sense. Even now when he didn't want to think about her, the images refused to leave his mind, playing over, and over again while he paced up and down his living room like a caged wild animal.

He couldn't avoid it any longer. Something had to change, and if he had to change it, then that was okay. He grabbed the phone book and his cell. He made arrangements to fly to Pennsylvania. The only flight was in four hours, so he killed time by unpacking his suitcase, and repacking it with clean clothes, and replenished toiletries. Then he resumed pacing the house for another hour.

He got to the airport in plenty of time to get through all the extra security, so he stopped at the gift shop for a book. He picked up three at random, and had finished two of them by the time his flight was called, ignoring the strange looks and whispers of the other passengers.

The flight was short but interminable. He practically ran to the car rental counter, and listened impatiently while the representative gave him directions to JJ's hometown. He studied and memorized the map in the airport parking lot, and was on his way thirty minutes after the flight touched down. Even with the map, he had to stop and ask directions to the Jareaus. For once it was helpful to have a badge; people fell over themselves to help him in that small town.

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Susan Jareau placed a bookmark in the novel she was reading. The fact was she hadn't gotten past page three. She'd stared at the same page for thirty minutes. Jennifer had left five hours ago and she should be nearly back to Virginia by now.

It was late afternoon and the wind had changed directions. She shivered, pulled on a light green sweater, and took her cup of tea over to the big picture window at the front of the two story house. She looked at the boiling grey and black clouds that were rolling in, and hoped her girl wasn't going home to a storm.

Raindrops began to splatter against the window without preamble. At first there were just a few to mar the last wash job she done on them just three days before. More drops fell leaving big splashes of wetness on the ground in front of the house. Everything had a grey cast to it, even the brightly colored leaves on the trees.

The rain came faster now, the window was completely wet, and drops ran down its surface, making the world hazy and unearthly. Her attention was drawn to the driveway by a splash of color. A red Ford Explorer pulled up behind her car and she wondered who it could be. She wasn't expecting anyone, especially right at the dinner hour.

She watched a tall young man get out of the truck and lope to the house. The rain plastered his hair to his head in the minute it took for him to reach the porch. He was very thin, with brown hair, and large chocolate brown eyes. He looked familiar but she couldn't place him.

Her doorbell rang and she walked to the front door.

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The rain began when Spencer was halfway to his destination. "Great," he muttered to himself. He didn't have a raincoat or an umbrella; he was going to get soaked. "Just remember, you're here for JJ. You have to resolve this once and for all, or you'll always wonder and you'll always be miserable." He didn't believe his own reasoning.

Doubts were beginning to creep into his thoughts, what if she was angry with him for coming to her home? What if she welcomed him happily? Damn… he'd been so sure that he couldn't let this go on. He pulled off the road and let the car idle for a long time. There were two choices he could go home, or he could continue with what he came here for. He sat tapping one finger on the steering wheel. Then he put the car in gear and drove on.

When he reached the house he was looking for, his hands began to sweat. This was a really bad idea but it was too late now. He pulled into the driveway and got out into the pouring rain. He was soaked in the minute it took to reach the porch and ring the bell. He prayed JJ would answer and not one of her parents. The door opened after a minute, and an older version of JJ stood before him with a frown on her face.

"Ah - ma'am my name is Dr. Spencer Reid. I'm with the BAU in Quantico. I work with your daughter." He displayed his badge.

"I know who you are Dr. Reid."

He blinked in surprise, they'd never met before, he was sure of it. "Don't look surprised Dr. Reid, my daughter talks about you all the time. I recognized you from her description of you."

She didn't move to let him in or even invite him to stay. Her tone was less than welcoming and he could see that she wasn't happy he was there.

"Mrs. Jareau, I'm sorry to disturb you, but I'd like to speak to JJ - I mean Jennifer is she here?"

"No, she isn't, she left earlier to go back to Quantico."

His heart plunged into his shoes, and he felt foolish for coming out here without calling first. "Um… I'm sorry I bothered you. I'll just go."

She sighed deeply and said, "Wait Dr. Reid, come in, you're soaked to the skin."

She moved back and let him pass her into the living room. She led him back to the kitchen and told him to sit down.

"Mrs. Jareau I -"

"Just wait here; I'll get you a towel." She left the kitchen and he looked around.

It wasn't like the home he'd grown up in, that was for sure. The tiled floors were cream colored and sparkled. The appliances were all new and stainless steel. It was a fairly large room with a breakfast nook in one corner, where he sat at the picnic style table. The curtains at the window were light yellow chiffon and frilled with lace. He noticed that everything was spotless. It was a warm and welcoming place and he could see why JJ would come back here.

He was yanked out of his thoughts by her mother's voice. "Would you like some tea, Dr. Reid?" She handed him a light blue and very fluffy towel.

"Well actually I should go - "

"No, I want to talk to you about my daughter." She went to the cabinets and pulled out a container of mint tea.

"I'm very curious why you let my daughter come home for ten days, and you never once tried to contact her." She finished filling the teapot and put in on the stove.

"I don't like tea made in the microwave, it isn't natural, I like tea to steep, it's worth the wait don't you think."

She sat down across from him and waited for him to answer her question. At first he thought about lying, and then he decided that Mrs. Jareau would know and he would be in even more trouble with her.

"Ma'am, she took a leave of absence and none of us knew why, except for our boss Agent Hotchner."

"But you knew why she left, didn't you," she asked watching him so closely that he began to squirm. So this must be where JJ got her ability to deal with the press. Mrs. Jareau would be great as a liaison.

"Yes ma'am, I knew why she left."

"So you finally decided to come after her today."

"Ma'am I never wanted to hurt Jennifer but -"

She held up a hand to stop him and got up to take the kettle off the stove. She poured out hot water and dropped in tea bags. "You like sugar, Dr. Reid." He found he could only nod and he watched her carry the teacups to the table.

"Dr. Reid, I know exactly what happened between you and my daughter. She told me all about it, just today in fact. I understand youthful mistakes. I made a few myself, so I won't lecture you about inebriation and unsafe sex."

Reid felt his face getting hot and he couldn't look JJ's mother in the eye. He was very glad her father didn't seem to be home.

"What bothers me is that JJ spent ten days moping around here and crying. She went out to the site of Lisa's attack today and came back here looking terrible. I don't like to see my daughter looking like that. I don't like to see her cry like she has for the last ten days. In fact before the last week and a half I can count on both hands the number of times I've seen my daughter unhappy or crying. So tell me Dr. Reid, why I shouldn't throw you out right now."

"Ma'am I was wrong to treat Jennifer the way that I have, but with all due respect, you don't know my side of the story."

"Why don't you tell me?"

So he did, he told her everything that had happened in the last year. He explained his attraction to Karen and the confusion he still felt over what she'd done."

JJ's mom listened without interruption, and by the time he finished her eyes weren't angry anymore. He saw only compassion in them.

"My daughter has told me everything she knows about you. I know that your mother is in an institution and I'm sorry about that. I know that you are a talented profiler, and you're very intelligent. She's told me that you're a sweet and kind man, who's never hurt anyone. She loves you Dr. Reid, and has for a very long time."

"I want to believe that, Mrs. Jareau, that's why I came here, to talk to her and see if we can find a way to fix whatever it is that exists between us."

"Young man, you can't fix what never was. You two have to start over like nothing happened. If you try to go back to where you were a year ago, it won't work."

"Ma'am if I may say so you are a wise woman."

He felt a surge of relief when Susan Jareau began to laugh. She so resembled her daughter that his heart tore in his chest.

"Dr. Reid I think you better call me Susan."

He wanted to smile but tears flooded his eyes. Susan stood took a step to his chair and wrapped him in her arms.

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She made him stay the night. It was snowing hard by the time they finished talking. She made it clear to him that she understood what he felt and she no longer bore him ill will. She was impressed that he followed her daughter to her home to work things out. He wanted to go back to Virginia, but couldn't get a flight out.

"Spencer, you can't drive back now, it's snowing too hard. Please stay here. My husband is out of town on business, and I'd feel better if you stayed here."

He knew she was cutting him a break, so he stayed. He liked her and wanted to get to know her better. They talked for hours after he'd collected his thoughts and emotions. He'd asked her to call him Spencer and she agreed.

When she saw that he was exhausted and hollow eyed, she made him eat the soup she was making and then she sent him to bed. She put him in Jen's room after changing the sheets, ignoring his protests that he shouldn't stay in her room.

"Spencer, she won't care. Now go to bed, you are falling asleep on your feet." She left him in the room and shut the door.

He didn't want to sleep. He wanted to go home, but when he sat down on the edge of the queen sized bed he felt an overwhelming urge to sleep. He listlessly pulled off his shoes and socks; he pulled his damp sweater vest over his head and dropped it on the floor. He stood stripped out of his dress shirt tie and slacks. He slid into her bed clad only in boxers and was overwhelmed by the ghost of her scent.

Why had he agreed to stay here, he couldn't bear the reminders of his night with her. He would've given into angry, frustrated tears, but he was so tired, he couldn't keep his eyes open. He didn't hear his cell phone beep, and was deeply asleep for the first time in weeks within a matter of minutes.


	3. Chapter 3

_Authors Note: Hey, here is the final chapter. I thank everyone again for their comments, and my wonderful beta, REIDFANATIC, for her wonderful job editing all my mistakes. Thanks! _

JJ dialed Spencer's number for the fifth time in three hours. She was worried that he wasn't answering. Should she call Hotch, or should she leave it alone for the night. Maybe he saw her name on caller ID and was ignoring her. She couldn't blame him. She shouldn't have left, no matter what Hotch thought.

She'd gone straight to his house when she'd got in from the airport. She'd banged on the door for twenty minutes before giving up, and conceding that he wasn't home, not just ignoring her. She'd left when a neighbor came out, and asked her in an annoyed tone, if he could please help her.

She sighed and called her mother. There had been a storm predicted for that area that promised to be the first big one of the year. It was early for the season, but at least she'd made it home before the winds and rain had begun here.

"_Hey mom, I just wanted to let you know I'm home."_

"_What's wrong sweet girl, you sound upset?" _

"_I can't find Spencer, I went to his house and he isn't there. I'm worried about him; he's not answering his phone."_

"_That's because he's asleep in your bedroom honey."_

"_What! Mom… I'm not in the mood for jokes."_

"_I'm not joking with you, he really is here, so stop calling him, you'll wake him up and he looks like he hasn't slept well in weeks."_

"_But why -"_

"_He came after you Jenny, he loves you very much and he wants to talk to you."_

JJ couldn't believe her ears, he'd actually gone after her, and now here they were like the principal players in a bad romance novel, missing each other by hours.

"_I know what you're thinking Jenny and I want you to stay put. You can't get a flight in here anyway, the weather is horrid. I can't remember the last time it snowed like this at this time of year. In fact I'm glad he's here, I feel a lot safer since your father's away."_

"_You're right mom, is he okay?"_

"_No… but he will be after about twelve hours of sleep. He needs to eat, he's too skinny."_

"_I'm sure you'll get a meal into him before he leaves," JJ said trying not to laugh at her mother's last remark._

"_He's not leaving here until he has a good breakfast in the morning, now get some sleep my girl, you'll feel better."_

"_Okay mom, I love you."_

"_I love you too sweetheart."_

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Bright sunlight woke Spencer up the next morning. He turned over stretched, and sat up feeling better than he had in months. It took a minute but he finally remembered where he was. He'd been sleeping in her room, in her bed. He flushed pink, then remembered that she wasn't here, she was back in Virginia and he'd come all the way here for nothing.

_Good one Reid, just wait till Morgan hears about this little stunt, he may stop laughing in a couple of years._

He was about to get out of bed when a knock came at his door. He lay down and pulled the sheets up around his bare chest.

"Ah - come in."

The door opened and Susan Jareau came in. She was carrying the clothes he'd worn the day before. "I washed these for you." She placed them on the bed.

"How do you feel?" She asked.

"Um… good I feel really good, what time is it?"

She consulted her watch, "it's about 11 am."

"What! I have to go." He threw off the covers and was about to get out of bed when realized he only wore boxers. He's face went crimson and he hastily covered himself again. Susan began to laugh.

"Dr. Reid don't be shy, you don't have anything, I haven't seen before."

"I ah - I'm sorry I didn't think…" Oh this was so embarrassing; this was JJ's mom for God's sake.

"Spencer don't feel bad, I'm sorry I teased you, now get dressed and I'll fix you something to eat." She patted his arm through the blanket and gave him a cheeky smile.

"I have to get going."

"Relax, the storm is over and the roads are cleared, but the next flight out doesn't leave till 4 pm you have some time."

She left before he could ask how she knew the flight schedule. He sighed, and put on the clothes that were still warm from the dryer. He made the bed and picked up his phone. He checked his messages and saw that JJ had tried to call him several times.

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JJ rolled over and groaned when the sunlight struck her face. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock. 11 am straight up. She'd slept for twelve hours. It was more sleep than she'd gotten in weeks. She could only hope that Spence had slept as well as she had.

She stumbled into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She was about to step under the hot water when her phone rang. She ran back to the bedroom and snatched up her phone. She froze when she saw Spence's number on the caller ID. She let it ring twice more before she answered.

"_Spence?"_

"_Yeah JJ, it's me."_

"_Um, how are you?"_

"_I'm fine actually; I slept for twelve hours straight."_

"_That's great, how's my mom."_

"_Oh ... you know where I am." _

"_Yeah I know where you are, I talked to mom last night, after I couldn't reach you."_

"_Your mom's pretty great. You're lucky Jennifer."_

He called her Jennifer; he never did that, mostly because he knew she hated to be called that at work. She liked hearing him say it. It sent little shivers down her back. She loved the sound of his voice; the way it squeaked when he was excited was so cute.

"_JJ are you there?"_

"_Yeah, I was just thinking I like it when you call me Jennifer."_

He was quiet for so long she began to be afraid he was mad and had hung up.

"_I like calling you that, Jennifer."_

Oh how she wanted to see him again. Please God give us a break!

"_I should be back some time this evening, can I come to see you and talk."_

"_Yeah, I'd like that Spence."_

"_Okay, see you soon."_

She hung up the phone and squealed. She ran into the bathroom and jumped into the shower. He wasn't mad at her anymore and he was coming to see her.

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Susan Jareau made him eat an enormous breakfast, even though it was almost noon. She had scrambled eggs, pancakes, toast, bacon and coffee all lined up on the table when he walked into the kitchen. He tried to protest, but like her daughter, she got him to do what she wanted with little trouble. He decided it was the eyes, you couldn't say no to them.

"I talked to Jennifer."

"Good, how does she sound?" She added a couple of teaspoons of sugar to her tea and stirred it slowly.

He put down his coffee and said thoughtfully. "She sounded like she just woke up, but not like she hadn't slept. She sounded rested."

She walked over to the table and sat next to him. She took a sip from her tea and said to him,"I'm glad; its great what a full night's sleep will do for you isn't it."

"It was slightly more than a night's sleep Susan."

"Hey, you obviously needed it."

"I did actually, I haven't been sleeping that well." He attacked his breakfast because despite his complaints to the contrary, he was stomach rumbling hungry.

"I know, but I have a feeling that's going to change."

Spencer flushed and Susan laughed. "Just remember the hard part's over."

"Is it Susan, is it really?"

"Yes, it is, now get on that phone and book a flight, my daughter's waiting for you."

"Thanks Susan I forgot what having a mom is like," he said shyly, and nervously pushed a strand of hair behind one ear.

"Your welcome. I never had a son so I look forward to knowing you better." She kissed his cheek and his flush deepened.

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By the time seven o'clock rolled around JJ was so nervous she could hardly stand still, in fact she was pacing around her living room for the hundredth time that afternoon. What if he changed his mind and didn't come see her like he promised?

She stopped pacing and went into the bathroom. She looked in the mirror checking her make up and lipstick. Her hair was hanging straight down and unfettered. She wore a blue sweatshirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. Her feet were clad only in white socks and her hands were shaking.

It was so surreal. She was usually so confident with men. Now she was a nervous as a school girl on her first date. The doorbell rang and she jumped and gave a little scream. _Calm down girl, you're going to have a heart attack if you don't settle down. _

She went out to the front door, each step seemed to take an eternity to complete. She opened the door and he stood there looking as nervous as she felt. One hand pushed back his hair and oddly that made her relax.

"Hi Jennifer."

"Ah - hi Spence, ah - do you want to come in."

_Stupid question girl of course he wants to come in why do you think he's here? _

"Yeah, ah - thanks." He entered and stood awkwardly without making eye contact. Oh boy, this wasn't going to be easy.

"Spence, why don't you sit down, do you want some coffee, or a beer maybe."

"Coffee's fine, I don't think alcohol is a good idea, especially in light of what happened the last time I was here."

_Okay so maybe he is still mad at me. Don't give up girl you can do this. You have to do this. _

"I'll be right back."

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She left the room and he sat down on the same leather sofa where last year they had - stop it Reid don't go there. He looked around and everything was the same from the books in the bookshelves to the paintings on the white walls. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"Hey Spence, you okay?"

God she looked great, her golden hair swinging around her face, her blue eyes that made his heart stutter whenever he looked into them. Her lips were painted a light pink and were so kissable.

"Spence, did you hear me."

"I don't think this was a good idea, I should go now."

"No please don't go, I need to talk to you. Please Spence give me another chance." She put the coffee cups on the end table and grasped one of his hands.

He pulled away from her and walked to the couch. He sat down and looked up to where she was standing staring at him.

"Jennifer, I should leave, this wasn't a good idea."

"Why, all I want to do is talk to you. I've tried so hard to convince you that I've fallen in love with you, but you refuse to believe it."

"Okay then let me ask you a question, what does it mean to love someone?" He stared at the floor unable to meet her eyes again.

"I don't get what you're asking Spence."

"What is love to you, what does it mean? I can give you lots of scientific reason for the feelings we call love, but does the word mean more than just surging hormones to you." He demanded as he rose and retreated to the other end of the room from her where it was safe.

She took a deep breath as though she were getting ready to dive into a deep pool of water. He watched her stand and move to join him. He wanted to retreat, but she sensed

it and lay a restraining hand on his arm.

"Please don't pull away again, I couldn't bear it."

His heart beat began to speed up but he didn't move. He asked the question, now he had to be ready for whatever her answer was.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore, so if you want to walk away right now, I won't stop you. It's your choice."

He gaped at her. "Why are you saying this after everything we just went through in the last 24 hours, just to see each other?"

"I love you Spence and if that means I have to let you go then I will. You asked me what love means to me, well it means many things. I don't have the right words to tell you but maybe I can tell you in the words of my favorite sonnet. I memorized it in high school. She took a deep breath and began to recite it.

_Let me not to the marriage of true minds_

_Admit impediments. Love is not love_

_Which alters when it alteration finds,_

_Or bends with the remover to remove:_

_O no! it is an ever-fixed mark_

_That looks on tempests and is never shaken;_

_It is the star to every wandering bark,_

_Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken._

_Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks_

_Within his bending sickle's compass come:_

_Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,_

_But bears it out even to the edge of doom._

_If this be error and upon me proved,_

_I never writ, nor no man ever loved._

"That's -"

"William Shakespeare," Reid said, a strange look on his face.

"Hey… you don't have to look at me like that, I can know things too." She pulled on his arm and he follwed her back to the couch.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I know you're more than a pretty face, you're smart and funny and you can make people do what you want them to do, especially the press."

"I can't get you to believe in me, so I must not be that great at influence."

"I believe in you Jennifer, but I'm scared. I don't want to go any further with whatever there is between us and then get hurt again."

"If you want a guarantee Spence, I can't give it to you, but I can give you all of my heart and my soul and my body if you want it, because I do love you."

He wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe in himself. So he threw aside his doubts and he said, wrapping one arm around her shoulder.

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes, 

I all alone beweep my outcast state 

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries 

And look upon myself and curse my fate, 

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope, 

Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd, 

Desiring this man's art and that man's scope, 

With what I most enjoy contented least; 

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising, 

Haply I think on thee, and then my state, 

Like to the lark at break of day arising 

From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate; 

For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings 

That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

"That's Shakespeare too, isn't it?" She asked him with tears filling her eyes.

"Yes, it is."

"Oh Spencer, I'm so sorry for everything, for what I did last year and for Lisa. Please forgive me, I love you."

"I know," he said. He kissed her and when she pulled away he asked. "Jennifer, I want to start this right, so will you go to dinner with me tonight. We'll spend some time together and see how it goes."

"Okay, but I have to change first."

"No you don't you look fine."

"Spencer, a girl doesn't go to dinner with a guy she really likes looking like this. Honestly… you have a lot to learn about women."

She winked at him then left him there to ponder that statement and yes he did have a lot to learn, but there was time now, all the time in the world.


End file.
